Barefoot on broken glass

Observations of the Self in life

Books on Stoicism have been scattered throughout our house over the last year or so. But I’m really loving the latest one we’re on, The Little Book of Stoicism. The title sounds too simple to be decent and respectable but I think it’s the best one I’ve read so far.

The “we’re” is my book club. There’s two of us. Me and my bro. We’ve been bookclubbing for about two years. Thursday mornings 6:30 – 7 am we have a powwow phone call on the chapters we agreed to read for the week. From there we chew over the applications of those chapters to everyday life.

The Little Book is practical. I love practical. That’s what makes it a goodie. You can’t get any simpler if you’re practical. The author is good at simplifying some pretty complex ideas of Stoicism. By the way, Stoicism, also referred to a philosophy of life, hailed from the early 3rd century BC. That’s a super long time ago. Yeesh. And so if you choose to go down the Stoic route you’ll bump into legends like Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus. Years ago, way before book club, when my Stoic curiosity was initially piqued, I went right for the head of the Roman Empire, Marcus Aurelius, and his famous series of personal writings, Meditations. The title appealed but I couldn’t get into it. It was a hard read, especially as my first dive into Stoicism. Too many fragmented philosophical musings. Yuck. I wasn’t as Zen as I thought. But it really wasn’t about Zen.

So what about the broken glass?

Stoicism isn’t an easy-to-follow road. The #1 prerequisite to getting on the golden road is awareness. There’s two big bits wrapped into that one word. Awareness of what’s going on around you, that’s one, and two, how you’re being within yourself. That’s the one-two punch of Life. They play off each other. Unfortunately, the play isn’t whimsical and frisky. It’s life unfolding. And, it’s your life. You know life situations can get pretty tangled up. Especially because events are rarely isolated. They’re more layered into the fabric of something that’s already playing out, sometimes with multiple characters, mood swings and changing scenery.

So how do you keep your Stoic cool when you’re knotted up with an eruption in front of you right Now + a past experience that’s fogging up your lens looking at the Now + your fret about the future, ALL in the same scene?

It’s that awareness.

It’s key. It’s a big reason I’m drawn to this philosophy because it’s sort of like a container to hold yourself. I see it as having the same vigilance when I’m literally moving about the world. Pay attention. Be aware. That’s the biggest advice I’d offer to a newbie mover or even a seasoned mover. Can you be aware of every step you make, every move you craft?

We should be able to bring our attention into every step and bring the same attention into the moment as when we’re walking barefoot on broken glass.

I can’t even walk on my red stone driveway in bare feet, let alone barefoot on broken glass. I’m a sissy. It’s too annoying to have to worry about the 3/8 stone getting stuck on my feet and I’m definitely not interested in getting better at that.

But I am interested in continuous self-observation. Doesn’t mean I’m good at it and that I act accordingly. Reading about the philosophy is one thing, applying it to real-time – that’s the test.

Power in the pause

Every moment that rolls out, ticks away, elapses, any way you want to look at it, is an opportunity to shift your awareness.

How do you pay attention? What choices are you deciding based on what’s showing up in front of you? Are you able to watch yourself like a hawk?

That’s a toughie for me. To not let a previous experience suck me in and swirl me away from the Now. That spell happens instantly. It’s pure reaction.

The Now is new. Never been here before. The past ought to be used as a guide but not as a goalpost to punt today’s problem through.

The power therefore is in the pause. I say this to clients all the time. “Pause.” Stepping back or even to the side rather than impulsively or habitually repeating an action or response that may not truly serve you.

Like I said previously, part of the reason I’m drawn to Stoicism is because I believe I can be compelled to take better effective action to deal with what comes my way.

Just gotta get out of my own way.

And in this corner… of the Stoic triangle

The Stoics didn’t define The Stoic Triangle, rather the author of the little book, Jonas Salzberger, did. It’s his visualization of their core principles wrangled up into a triad so that it’s simple to understand at first glance. Embodying them is the everyday practice. My idea here isn’t to give you an overview but I wanted to point out one corner of the triangle. The corner of live with Arete.

I see a lot of parallels of the Stoic principles to movement. That’s a weird thing to say because on one hand you have a timeless wisdom/philosophy of personal ethics and on the other you have … activity and mobility. To live with Arete is to express your highest self in every moment. And in order to be on good terms with our highest self we have to be able to close the gap between what we’re capable of doing and what we’re actually doing.

Think about that for a second.

What we’re capable of doing and what we’re actually doing.

It’s that gap that gets my attention. It’s like the pause. They’re actually synonyms of each other. You can apply them to that idea of stepping back, away from the moment, to reflect before you make a move or a decision or react. It’s the space in between what’s happened and then … a response. It’s the keystone to awareness. It’s a plausible pause.

Building a practice

Cultivating awareness is building a practice. Both in life and movement. Just like lifting weights will make you stronger and diversifying your movement will add to your agility, practicing Stoic principles will help define your integrity in every day life. It will make you stronger.

It’s all in the practice. That’s with anything, right?

So the parallel I want to end with or maybe remind you of is this: You have the power, the potential of power, to put forth disciplined effort to learn resilience. To be more tranquil. To invest in a deep, wide part of your being to transform yourself to do remarkable things. And I don’t mean remarkable in a Hallmark Channel sort of way. That’s fluffy. I’m referring to the real term “worthy of being or likely to be noticed especially as being uncommon or extraordinary”.

It takes effort. But this is Life. And, you can make transformations, little bitty ones, every day. It’s those little, tiny actions steps. Maybe it’s stepping into the start of something new or something revised. Maybe it’s keep on keeping on. But that you’re keeping on in the name of growth. Not ego. Not the same old, same old. That doesn’t get you places. It keeps you stuck. And stuck is an awful place to be, especially when you have broader opportunities out there for you.

We all are mirrors of each other. All these words I say, I read. I practice. I mess up. I go again. I hone my awareness. I trip. I reflect.

And SUCH is life.

Living it may not be loving every moment of it.

Be real.

Being able to take that pause to acknowledge the gap is where The Real may quietly reveal itself. You gotta be there ready and aware, in the space of Now.

Now.

—Lisa Byrne